Djesi Jessie?

 

Some of my dear "Djesi Jessie" friends- Jelena and Sara

“Djesi” is a Bosnian phrase that is a shortened version of “Gdje si?” which literally means “where are you?” But it is used similarly as “what’s up?” or even “how’s it going” in English. It is primarily used with good friends and in this incredibly social culture you will hear “Djesi” all the time as people pass by each other in the streets. Now if you have noticed this phrase also sounds a whole lot like “Jessie” or another way of saying my name. I will confess that I was really confused when I first started hearing it and kept turning around whenever it was said. I knew that I definitely was not that popular to have people calling my name all the time, but remained puzzled because although my teammate’s name is also Jessica I knew that Jessica is not a popular name here by any means. So what was going on? I finally asked some of my Bosnian friends and they explained its meaning. They realized right away why I was so confused and that it sounded like my name and couldn’t help but laughing at my bewilderment. I told them that yes, I am that self centered that I thought a common phrase like “Djesi” was actually the entire Sarajevo community trying to get my attention. So now they like to tease me by saying “Djesi Jessie?”  I appreciate it, but I will admit that as hard as I try to train myself to not respond to “Djesi” as someone calling me… I still have some work to do. 

But isn’t “Djesi” or “where are you” such a great question? In my 6+ weeks here in Sarajevo I seem to ask myself that question frequently. Sometimes it has been in a literal sense because I found myself completely disoriented in this new city of mine. Other times in a cultural sense. In simple things like unlocking doors, using vacuum cleaners and doing laundry… all of those realities of life that become daunting when they must be done in a new way. Or when people start rattling off to me in Bosnian at a tram stop or in my apartment building making the perfectly appropriate assumption that  I actually know their language. And especially as I begrudgingly respond,  ”Oprostite, govorim samo malo bosanski” (Sorry, I speak only a little Bosnian), frustrated that despite my tireless effort that I can’t manage with the Bosnian I have already learned. (Seriously,  I could know every vocabulary word that is spoken, but I am caught so off guard in those moments that I can’t understand a thing. Ugh!).  

A place where I walk often and stop to ask myself "Djesi?"

But mostly I have been pausing to ask myself “djesi?” because in this beginning stage in a new culture, a new language, a new community, etc… it is the only way to maintain any sense of cohesion or sanity. I am so thankful for this “pre-ministry” time where I don’t have any official leadership responsibilities other than language learning (which is quite a large task in itself, but no matter) so I could have space to process and seek God in this transition. In my core I have always feared slowing down and being alone, because that meant acknowledging the chaos inside. Yet in this more relaxed environment and with God’s incredible healing work in my life, I have been able to see God’s kingdom coming all around me. So I wonder are my thoughts from my time in Bosnia starting to sound redundant? Maybe it is because I am a slow learner or maybe because it is so essential to my spiritual growth that God has continually been teaching me about waiting, listening, patience and depending completely on him. Praise the Lord for his calling  for me here because it is in this context and through good, God glorifying aspects of Bosnian culture that I am really able to take in these important values and strive to integrate them into my character.  

As I reflect on this, I am reminded of a Psalm that I have been meditating on lately that never fails to elicit a deep, soulful gratitude for the beautiful God that we have. The entire Psalm is truly breathtaking, but I particularly love this verse, Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. -Psalm 116:7

I guess the only appropriate response to that is… Amen.